Responsible parenthood struggles amid poverty

source: mb.com.ph

MANILA, Philippines -- It’s easy to point an accusing finger at parents with numerous children who snub anything that has to do with family planning.

But some of them actually do practice family planning, or are at least trying to. In the case of the Gallo couple of the congested slum of the Baseco Compound in Tondo, Manila, they adopted birth control methods relatively early on in their married life.

“I’ve tried pills (oral contraceptives) and condoms before,” Nerissa Gallo, 43, said in Filipino. She has reared a total of 16 children with her 45-year-old spouse, construction worker Jimmy Gallo.

“I was given injectable (contraceptive) this Monday at the health center in Vitas (Tondo). They told me it was good for three months,” said Nerissa, who just three months earlier gave birth to her youngest child. The eldest, Edwin, 25, still lives with his parents.

Four of their children have died due to different illnesses, while another two, Elena 24, and Joel, 11, have been estranged for one reason or another.

However, the Gallos’ extended family – four daughters-in-law and four grandchildren – help keep the loneliness away in their wooden shanty, which stands on stilts and is a worm’s crawl away from the community mosque.

That’s 20 individuals sleeping in on any given night in a wooden box that serves as living room, dining area and bedroom.

For the toilet, one needs only to step outside.

The scene is similar for hundreds of other families in Baseco, located in the South Harbor district of Manila’s Port Area.

“We don’t mind being poor, as long as the family is together,” Jimmy said.

Nerissa recalled the reason she took pills, her first choice of contraceptive. “We were having one child each year, from the time we were married in 1986, to 1990. I told Jimmy that we had to do family planning. The barangay was giving away pills.”

It turned out to be a successful move; 1990 to 1994 were “fruitless” years for the couple, who at that time were residing in Iligan City.

Taking pills ‘too tedious’

The family’s transfer to Manila in 1997 changed things for the Gallos. For one thing, they needed more income, prompting Nerissa to sell vegetables in Divisoria.

“Taking pills was too tedious. Nakakatamad kaya tinigil ko (It took too much of an effort, that’s why I stopped),” she said.

The woman also candidly recounted one “hot” night with her Jimmy, who tried on a condom. “He took off the condom midway. He did not like the feeling of it.”

“Nabuntis ako tapos kambal yung lumabas (I got pregnant and then bore twins),” Nerissa said, referring to four-year-olds Almer and Elmer. Twins apparently run in the family, as her son and brother each have sets of twins.

When she was in her 30s, she seriously entertained the option of having her “tubes tied”—that is, undergo tubal ligation—but Jimmy talked her out of it, saying he was too frightful, or rather ignorant, of the implications of the medical procedure.

“I think I’m too old for it (ligation) now. I’ll just wait for my menopause,” Nerissa said. Hopefully the injectables do the trick until then.

Regrets

Asked what their biggest regret is, the couple answered: “Not being able to put our children through school.”

“But I’ll try my best to give to the younger ones the education that I failed to provide for my older children,” swore Nerissa, saying that she’ll get back to work in Divisoria soon.

What’s not to regret over, according to her, is to be blessed with so many children, and even grandchildren for that matter. “God gave them to us, so we have no regrets about having them.”

“I know there are people out there that who can’t have kids. That’s why we are blessed,” Nerissa said, adding that she still pines daily for Elena and Joel, as well as for her little angels who have passed away.

Big Filipino families like the Gallos do not laugh in the face of poverty; instead, they form the strongest bond they can, and together, they face it.

source: mb.com.ph